So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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