At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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