Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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