i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
