How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
