i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
