I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
