she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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