let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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