I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
