I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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