don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
