I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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