"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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