sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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