Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
