The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
