Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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