So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Did I show you my penis last night?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
