If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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