So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
