Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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