he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
