I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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