Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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