hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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