I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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