Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
