So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Congratulations! We have a period
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