So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
