note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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