I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
