I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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