she was so not down for the gang bang
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
