im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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