well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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