An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
