Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
