just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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