Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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