we're blogging at a bar
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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