Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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