Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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