You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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