could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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