sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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