ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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