i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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