You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize