Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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