put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
