what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize