Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize