I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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