The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
