dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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