I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
