I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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