It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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