Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is my gift to your gina
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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