in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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