do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
