maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
