Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
