Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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