why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
