It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
