why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
