You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
