But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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