He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
