Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
