Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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