why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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