I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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