yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
