nut hugger
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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