4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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